


We'll All Float On Alright (Eventually)

by Genderqueer_Penguin



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parents, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Soulmates, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, assassination classroom angst, assassination classroom without the assassination, its probably sad? but it will have fluff moments that only happen because of the sad?, like seriously, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:14:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genderqueer_Penguin/pseuds/Genderqueer_Penguin
Summary: Soulmates are bound by their injuries from around 10 years old and older until they find each other. What happens when Karma's soulmate, Nagisa, is struggling with self harm?and Nagisa's a trans maleI am not trying to romanticize self harm, this is just one of the best coping methods for me that I've found (I also try to include stuff like safer ways to treat wounds and ways to cope with urges). If you are struggling with self harm, please reach out to someone. If there's no-one you know you can reach out to, you can even reach out to me (Apollo_db on snapchat, or Genderqueerpenguin rainbow yin and yang on Pinterest - I will respond faster on pinterest.)At least weekly updates - currently on haitus til april-ish cause of schoolTags update - Other than the first 3 chapters, chapters are around 8 docs pages?TW(PLEASE READ):CursingSelf Harmlike graphic self harmEmotional abusemild physical abusepanic attacksdealing with mental health issuesanxiety and depressionunsafe bindingself hatred (ish)Suicidal thought/actions
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 11
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1 - Nagisa

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is the second fanfic that I've posted so I'm pretty excited! Sorry that all my stuff is really depressing, this is just my current coping method for life. Before you start reading, please check the trigger warning in the summary and do not read if any of those things trigger you. There will typically not be trigger warnings on individual chapters unless its something that i have not previously mentioned.
> 
> If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts/self harm, please reach out to a trusted adult and stay safe.
> 
> If anyone needs to talk, I cant have some social media because of my parents but my snapchat is Apollo_db or you can dm me on Pinterest - my username is GenderqueerPenguin and my pfp is rainbow yin and yang.

Chapter 1 - Nagisa

5 years ago (before present day)

It was all too much. He couldn’t take it anymore. He knew it would hurt his soulmate too, but there wasn’t even proof that he had a soulmate. No one could love him for who he is anyways. 

He walked up to his bedroom and grabbed a pencil sharpener off his desk before walking to his bathroom and locking the door behind him. He disassembled the sharpener and with shaking hands he lifted his skirt and dragged the blade across his thigh. It was different than he thought it would be: it caught onto the skin as if it had microscopic barbs on it.  
'Why isn't it gliding smoothly? Why isn't it like I read? Did I do something wrong?'  
He pulled it across his thigh again. And again. And again.  
'I can’t even harm myself properly. It's barely even bleeding.'  
Nagisa cried to himself.  
“Ichika, come down here! I went to the store and got you some stuff today!” his mother called from downstairs.  
“Be right there,” Nagisa yelled back.  
He grabbed some tape and taped a paper towel to the fresh wounds to make sure that the droplets of blood wouldn’t stain his clothes.

Back to present day:

Shit. It’s Christmas. 

Nagisa slid into a pair of jeans and a hoodie and made his way down to the living room.

He was greeted by his mother saying, “Good morning Ichika, Merry Christmas!”

Nagisa scowled and responded, “I told you, I don’t like that name.”

“Now listen here, I gave birth to a little girl named Ichika and I didnt raise her to be a freak. Now stop being a fucking bitch about it and go put on the dress I got you. We are going to see family and you need to be a pretty little girl for them. I dont want them to think that I raised a queer.”

“But-”

Nagisa's protest was only met by a slap to the face.

“GO PUT ON THE DRESS. NOW. WE'RE LEAVING IN THREE MINUTES.”

Nagisa fought the growing pain in the bottom of his throat and water in the corners of his eyes as he walked back to his bedroom. He slipped into the dress and put on a pair of tights underneath to make sure the scars littering his thighs were hidden. Before he left he grabbed a pack of gum and a blade from in the envelope in his bed stand. He hid the blade behind the gum and shoved the pack in the waistband of his tights.

Stupid girls clothes with no pockets.

Nagisa grabbed the box of gifts for his family and got into the car next to his mother.

“That dress looks so pretty on you!” Hiromi said.

Nagisa gave her a slight head nod trying to avoid making eye contact as he looked out the window. They pulled out the driveway and Nagisa turned up his music.

Sharpeners calling me again - I wonder if my soulmate lives in one of these houses  
Trying to turn it into some - there's my school  
Thing I can draw into my skin - There's less houses here  
(Sharpener by Cavetown)

The farther they got from their home, the fewer houses there were  
Soon all the buildings flying by were replaced by trees

Can you hear the silence - I wonder how much longer it's gonna be  
Can you see the dark - What kind of bird is that?  
Can you fix the broken - The sky is really pretty  
Can you feel - I wonder how close we are  
Can you feel my he-  
(Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon)

“We're here. Get up,” Nagisa’s mother said, ripping out his earbuds.

Nagisa got up and grabbed the box of gifts bracing himself for the family greetings, misgendering, and deadnaming.

I wish I could’ve at least finished the song. . 

Nagisa stepped inside the building to be greeted by his two younger cousins running around the house screaming and his aunt yelling, “We’re in here,” from the kitchen.

“Oh my goodness Ichika, you've grown so much since I last saw you! You’ve grown to be such a beautiful young woman”

“Thank you Auntie,” Nagisa said, trying not to grimace. He knew this wouldn’t even be the worst of it.

“Ichika! Come over here and say hello to your grandparents” his grandma said in a shrill tone. 

Nagisa walked over to them, giving his grandma and grandpa each a hug and kiss on the cheek.

Nagisa’s mother shooed Nagisa and his grandmother into the living room for some ‘bonding time’ as she went to help her sister prepare the food. Nagisa’s grandfather felt a little left out, so he went to go entertain his two younger grandkids. 

“You've gotten a lot taller, Ichika,” Nagisa’s Grandma said.  
“Yeah”  
“But Ichika, you still have no boobs,” Nagisa grimaced, “Don't worry about it though, you’re probably just a late bloomer.”

Is it normal for people to say your name that many times?

Nagisa hated his deadname but he hated it even more when it was used in the same sentence as feminine traits. He felt like it was suffocating. He needed to get out. He couldn’t breathe in here.

At that exact moment, he was saved by his aunt saying, “Hey mom, we’re out of Mirin but I already added the soy sauce and dashi pellets to the vegetables so I can’t do a completely different sauce. What should I do?”

“Add rice wine vinegar instead but for every tablespoon of vinegar add a teaspoon of sugar” Nagisa’s grandma responded as she got up to go help in the kitchen.

Nagisa saw his chance and he took it. He dashed out the front door and ran to the car. He climbed up the back to sit on the top of the car and turned back on his music.

I backed my car into a cop car the other day  
Well, he just drove off, sometimes life's okay  
I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh, what did I say?  
Well, you just laughed it off and it was all okay  
And we'll all float on, okay  
And we'll all float on, okay  
And we'll all float on, okay  
And we'll all float on anyway, well  
(Float On by Modest Mouse)

With each line he could breathe a little easier. It wasn't much, but Nagisa was proud of himself for not relapsing. He knew he probably would relapse by the end of the day, but he could at least try not to while he was at his grandparents house. 

“Hey kid, why don’t you come inside? We’re about to eat,” Nagisa’s grandpa yelled from the door.

Nagisa hopped down from the car and genuinely smiled at his grandpa as he walked inside to go eat.

Kid. Not girl. Not woman. Kid!

Nagisa’s grandpa may not have known it, but that little choice of words gave Nagisa enough power to make it through the entire meal without letting all the ‘Ichika’ ’s and ‘girl’ ’s get to him. 

After eating the whole family, Nagisa’s grandparents, mom, aunt, and two younger cousins, gathered in the living room to open presents. 

Nagisa wanted to be thankful for the presents that he got and he was thankful for the thought put into them but all the name tags ‘to my little sweet girl’ ‘for Ichika’ were burning a hole in his spirit. Each one was another arrow stabbing him in the heart. 

Everyone exchanged their gifts and their thank you’s and then before Nagisa knew it he was back in the car, alone with his mother. 

“What the fuck was that act. You could at least try to make yourself look normal,” Hiromi said in a voice so quiet and deep that you could tell she was beyond mad, too mad to even yell.

“What did I do?”

“You know what you did. You made me look like a bad mother.”

Nagisa had no clue what he had done or how he had made her look like a bad mother but he knew that if he asked ‘how did I do that?’ his mother would consider it sass and he would get in even more trouble so he just stayed silent and waited for Hiromi to continue talking. 

The rest of the ride was dead silent. 

When they pulled into the driveway Nagisa tried getting out of the car but the doors were locked. He looked over to his mother making eye contact for the first time since they got in the car.

“Ichika, my sweet little girl, You know how much I love you,” Hiromi lifted her hand to Nagisa’s cheek, “You will always be my baby girl but next time,” Hiromi’s hand moved to Nagisa’s ear, “try to smile a little more and seem more friendly when you talk to your own family. I don’t want them thinking that I raised a recluse,” she said harshly tugging on Nagisa’s ear. 

“Yes ma’am” 

“Good girl”

The doors to the car unlocked and Nagisa immediately went to their bathroom, locking the door and pulling the pack of gum out from his waistband. He turned on the shower and took off the dress carefully putting it on a hanger on the door so that he wouldn't get in trouble if it got stained or torn. Nagisa grabbed his blade and turned on his music then stepped into the shower. 

Nagisa couldn't hold it in anymore - he sunk to the floor of the shower and began crying. He could barely breathe or even hold himself in a sitting position but he focused his consciousness of the blade in his hand, pulling his arm towards his leg. He made lines across both his thighs and watched the droplets of blood rise up to the surface of his skin but it wasn't enough. He went over each cut again making it deeper but it still wasn't enough. It was never enough. All their voices were still echoing in his head.

Ichika  
Ichika  
ICHIKA  
“It’s not Ichika. My name’s not Ichika,” he said weakly, trying to convince himself more than anything. He looked back down at the blade in his hand and lifted it back towards his leg. He steadied his shaking arm with his other hand and slowly made each stroke. Eleven strokes later he was done. He grabbed a washcloth and wiped away the blood and stared down at the symbol he had made on his leg - 渚

Seeing it gave him comfort. It was like that proved he was still himself. His name was Nagisa even if no one called him by it. 

Nagisa.


	2. Chapter 2- Karma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the trigger warnings, please, for the love of god go do that before you continue reading this
> 
> If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm, please talk to a trusted adult or call the suicide prevention hotline.   
> If anyone needs to talk, you can dm me on Pinterest (Ik it's dumb but I'm not going to submit myself to getting in trouble from having social media that I cant hide easily from my parents)   
> my username is GenderqueerPenguin and my profile pic is a rainbow yin and yang

That day, Karma would never be able to forget.

Karma had been at home, in his bedroom, studying and suddenly he felt a sting on his thigh. At first he just brushed it off, but every few seconds it would sting again in a slightly different place. Karma pulled up his shorts to see if it was just a mosquito bite, but instead he was greeted by droplets of blood seeping through his boxers. That day, he got his first soulmate connection. 

At the time, Karma was just 10 years old and he didn’t know what the lines on his thighs meant but he could tell that not everyone got them. Because he was afraid that he would be in trouble, he didn’t tell anyone about the strange scars he was getting from his soulmate. Instead, he turned to the internet.

He made a post, asking others for help in figuring out why his soulmate had so many strange injuries in the same place. He eventually learned that the cause was most likely something called ‘self-harm’. 

Who could it be?  
Why would they do this?  
How can I find them? How can I help them?  
Karma wondered.

Even though he was very worried for his soulmate, now that he knew what the injuries were he was glad he had not mentioned it to anyone: his soulmate may be ashamed and telling others about his scars would be telling everyone what his soulmate did to themselves without their permission. Karma felt bad about it, but he was glad that the injuries were never too deep: although he didn't want his soulmate to harm themselves, he was thankful that they weren't deadly injuries.

Karma knew he had to find his soulmate, wherever they may be, but he had no clue where to start. 

*************************************************************************************************************

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Karma, Happy Birthday to you!” his sister sang, “Remember to make a wish before you blow out the candles.”

“I know, I know,” Karma responded.   
‘Same wish as always’ he thought to himself.  
‘I wish to find my soulmate to help them not hurt anymore’

Karma chuckled trying to hide the somber look on his face.

“What's so funny?” Karma’s sister, Akari asked.

“It’s not like my wish is gonna come true,” Karma took a deep breath, “It's been the same wish for the past five years. And it has still not come true.”

Akari looked into his eyes and said, “I know this is hard for you, but I promise, you will find them. I can’t make promises as to when that will be, but one day, it will happen. You're only 16 - you have plenty of time to look for them.”

Karma sighed and nodded as he was pulled into a warm embrace by his sister. He was so glad that his sister was there for him, but he couldn't help but worry for his soulmate - the wounds had been getting deeper over the past year and farther up - now his stomach was littered in scars in addition to his upper thighs and hips. He wanted to be able to be there for his soulmate like how his sister had been there for him.

“What do you want to do today?” Akari asked.

“How about we go to get some lunch at Hassei then go to a park? I’ve been wanting Yakitori lately and I’ve heard that it’s good there and some time outside sounds kinda nice.”

“Sounds good! I’ll be right down after I grab my bag”

Karma slipped on his shoes, grabbed a coat, and walked out the front door. At that moment he saw a car with a sad looking blue haired kid pass his house. He waved but the kid didn't see him. Karma wasn’t sure why, but he felt drawn to the bluenette.

“Are You ready to go?” Akari asked.

“Yeah, let’s go!”

Karma was happy to get to spend time with his sister for his birthday but the bluenette’s face still lingered in his mind. 

“What music do you want to play? You can choose since it’s your birthday”

Karma put his liked songs on shuffle. He heard the first few notes of Verbatim by Mother Mother and immediately hit shuffle again resulting in Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance.

“What was that about?” Akari said through her laughter.

“It was nothing”

“Are you sure about that? I saw a very clear look of panic on your face. Was it something you didn’t want me to hear?”

“Just drop it” 

“Fine. But only cause it’s your birthday.”

Soon they were at the restaurant and eating Yakitori.

“Is it good?” Akari asked.

“Best Birthday lunch ever”

Once they were back in the car Karma let his mind wander as 3rd planet by Modest Mouse played in the background. 

Why wont that bluenette’s face leave my head?   
Could they be my soulmate? There's no way. My soulmate could be anyone. My being bisexual isn’t helping me find them a bit either. 

Suddenly he was snapped back to reality by his sister’s voice, “Hey Karma, we're here.” 

Karma and Akari got out of the car breathing in the fresh air outside of the city. They began walking aimlessly and talking. 

“You're gonna be a first year. Do you have any plans for what you're gonna do in life?” Akari asked.

“Not really. I don't even know how to find what I want to do. I'm probably expected to take over the business from our parents, but I don't really want to.”

“Well, is there anything you're interested in?”

“I like music I guess, and cooking is pretty fun. I’m not half bad at it either.”

“That’s a start! What about stuff you’re good at?”

“I have good grades and I’m probably good enough to be a teacher someday. If I got along with children that is.”

“Well you might not like children right now but in time you might. And not all teachers teach children either.”

“Any other questions?”

“What do you want to accomplish?”

“. . . . I want - I want to help people who are hurting.”

“So like a doctor?”

“Not exactly”

“What do you mean by that? People that are hurting in what way?”

“I want to help people that are hurting like my soulmate is. I don’t know how I could do that, but I still want to try.”

“You’ve always talked about needing to find your soulmate and you're always worried about time but when I ask you why, you always avoid the question,” Akari paused for a second, formulating the words in her head before continuing, “If you can, will you tell me how your soulmate is ‘hurting’?”

Karma braced himself for her reaction and he showed her one of his legs. Akari gasped, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Are those- are they your soulmates? Or yours?” Akari asked.

“My soulmate’s.”

Akari fell onto Karma embracing him while crying onto his shoulder. She rubbed his back trying to comfort him, but from the looks of it, it seemed she was the one who needed comforting.

“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.

“Since I was 11. . ”

“You were so young - How did I not notice? Why didn't you tell me?”

“I was scared. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't want to get in trouble for it so I looked it up on the internet instead. Telling people about it would be me telling people private information about my soulmate without their permission. If they had ever gotten bad enough to need to go to the emergency room I would've told someone but since they never did, I thought it would be best to deal with it myself.”

“I can see why you didn't but in the future, promise me that you will tell me. Promise me that you will tell someone if it can't be me or if i'm not there. Please promise me.”

“I Promise.”  
*************************************************************************************************************

That night, the stinging from the cuts littering his torso and thighs wouldn't stop. He wondered if it had to do with going back to school in a few days. Or maybe Christmas. The increasing pain was relentless that night and prevented Karma from sleeping, so instead he went to take a bath.

How bad could their Christmas have been?  
He thought to himself as he turned on the hot water and began to undress. He stared into the mirror. He could see evident dark circles under his eyes from all of his sleepless nights. If this was taking such a big toll on himself, Karma couldn’t even imagine what kind of toll it was taking on his soulmate. 

Once the tub was filled Karma began to step into the bathtub, but he noticed a strange looking word on his leg. He sat down into the bathtub inspecting it. Occasionally a word or two would show up on his leg from his soulmate, but this one was different. This one looked like a name.

渚  
Nagisa. 

This was a big clue to finding his soulmate. Was that their name? Was that someone who hurt them? Karma didn't know, but he did know that this would help him find his soulmate wherever they may be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a double update! The next chapter's really short but it doesn't work to combine it with another chapter so I'm just posting 2 at once.
> 
> Since I'm mentioning so much music I'm going to have a playlist with all the songs I mention done soon. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the trigger warnings, please, for the love of god go do that before you continue reading this
> 
> If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm, please talk to a trusted adult or call the suicide prevention hotline.   
> If anyone needs to talk, you can dm me on Pinterest (Ik it's dumb but I'm not going to submit myself to getting in trouble from having social media that I cant hide easily from my parents)   
> my username is GenderqueerPenguin and my profile pic is a rainbow yin and yang

“Hey mom, I’m gonna go to the library to find a few books for when I go back to school,” Nagisa yelled from the front door.

“Okay, be home by noon,” Nagisa’s mother yelled back.

Nagisa looked at the clock, ‘Shit, it's 10 already. I’ll only have 2 hours.’ Nagisa walked out the door, checking his backpack to make sure he remembered his Christmas money. After a few blocks, Nagisa made it to the library. He hurriedly walked inside, grabbing the first few educational books around his level, checked out, and left as fast as he could without disturbing anyone.

Nagisa continued on walking for a few blocks, passing various houses, small restaurants, a pharmacy, before he made it to his destination: the thrift store. He hesitantly walked in, afraid that someone he knew would see him and mention it to his mother. He walked over to the boy’s clothing rack, skimming through the shirts until he found a section of button ups. Nagisa grabbed five that looked just a little too big.

If they’re larger, it’ll hide my body shape better.

Next, Nagisa went to find pants. Since he didn't have time to try them on, he just grabbed two pairs based on length. As he began walking towards the checkout, some items on the sale rack caught his eye: a vest, and a simple pair of black shoes.

I should probably get shoes considering I don’t have any that aren't feminine. 

Nagisa began counting up the cost of everything to make sure he had enough money before he got in line to check out. 

“Hello. Will this be all for you today?” The cashier said.

Nagisa responded with a yeah and a nod. He handed over the cash before grabbing his bag of clothes and leaving. 

“Well, there goes all my Christmas money,” he mumbled under his breath. 

He took the clothes and shoved them into the bottom of his backpack, thoroughly hiding them underneath the handful of library books he had gotten. Nagisa lifted his arm, looking at his watch just now noticing that it was 11:50. Nagisa dashed the whole way back to his house so that he wouldn't get in trouble for being late. He made it to the front door of his house just minutes before 12. 

Nagisa heard his mother speaking from the living room, “Ichika honey, what books did you get at the library?” 

No. Not Ichika.

Nagisa responded, listing off the names of the books in his bag. 

“A letter came in from your school about your classes this year,” Hiromi continued.

“Yeah?”

“You’re in class 1-E.”

“Okay.”

‘Okay? That’s all you have to say about this? This is in no way okay. I didn’t spend this much time and work getting you into a prestigious school just for you to be in the dumb class.”

“I’m sorry.”

There's no use saying anything else or even trying to defend myself. That’ll only make her madder.

“Don't use that tone with me little lady!”

What tone? Lady?

Apparently Nagisa’s confusion showed up on their face because out of nowhere Hiromi walked over to Nagisa and slapped him across the cheek.

“I really am sorry. I’ll study harder this year.”

“Good girl. School starts in two days so we need to get you ready,” Hiromi said.

“What do we need to do to get ready for back to school?” Nagisa asked reluctantly.

“We are going to trim your hair, get you some new skirts, and you need to do some fasting. I can't have you looking pudgy: it will reflect on my image.”

“Okay!” Nagisa said in a fake excited tone.

These two days are going to be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a double update! This ones like super short but I felt like including something about the time between Christmas and going back to school for Nagisa.
> 
> From here on out the chapters get a lot longer! (the next one hasn't been edited yet but it's like 9.5 docs pages instead of 2 like this one)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma and Nagisa meet eachother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the trigger warnings in the summary if you haven't already please!  
> The playlist is here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2KRD4yUbQi2muzUiAVf2jM   
> Some songs on it wont make sense yet cause I've been writing ahead but still need to edit those chapters but everything that's mentioned in the fic is on the playlist and if they are listening to music that music will probably also be on the playlist

“Karma, get your ass down here! You’re gonna be late for school,” Akari yelled from the kitchen. Karma groggily sat up, tossing on the first clothes he saw and walked out of his bedroom.  
‘Fuck my legs hurt.’

Even though it has been five years since the wounds started appearing, Karma would never be completely used to the pain. 

He made his way out of the bedroom into the kitchen to be greeted by Akari throwing a granola bar at him. He caught the bar shoving it in his back pocket before grabbing his schoolbag, slipping on his shoes and running out the door.

“Thanks for the granola bar, Akari! I’m heading to school now!” 

By the time Akari responded with ‘Have a good day’ Karma was already out the door on his way to his first day of high school. 

Since he had been put in Class E for behavioral issues, his school building was even farther away so he had to run to school, nearly choking on his granola bar in the process. He made it to school with a few minutes to spare, wincing at the pain in his legs that he had been ignoring. As soon as Karma walked into the classroom he was surprised to see the kid with blue hair that he saw on his birthday. He froze, staring at the bluenette for a few seconds until the bell rang, pulling him back into consciousness. He suddenly realized that everyone was already sitting down so he only had two choices of seats : the very front row, or next to the bluenette in the middle of the classroom. He chose the latter. 

Immediately after he sat down, a strange, yellow, octopus-like person walked into the front of the room followed by a stern looking man in a suit.

The man in a suit spoke first, “Welcome to class 1-E, I am going to be one of your teachers this year. You may call me Karasuma. In the past week, an unfortunate event occurred and the class 1-E teacher, Mrs. Yukimura, passed away, and he,” Karasuma said, gesturing to the yellow octopus-like person, “Was the person she wanted to teach in her place if anything was to ever happen to her.”

The students looked around cautiously, trying to figure out what was going on and why their teacher was a yellow octopus. 

“Hey, why do you have tentacles? And why are you bright yellow?” one student yelled.

The yellow being at the front of the classroom began to answer but then he was interrupted by Karasuma saying, “He became this way as the result of some unfortunate science experiments.”

The students were not quite sure what to think, but as long as he was a good teacher they didn’t really care if he was very. . . different from their other precious teachers. 

“Okay class, we’re going to start by calling role to make sure everyone's here and learn each other's names!” their tentacled teacher said. 

‘I wonder if anyone's named Nagisa. . . It’s not likely, but I should make sure to check’

“Akabane Karma”  
“Here”  
“Kayano Kaede”  
“Here”  
“Horibe Itona”  
“Here”  
“Shiota -”  
“Here. Um. . I go by Nagisa. . do you think you could change it to that on the paper?”  
“Sure thing Nagisa”

Karma immediately turned to see that it was the bluenette who had said their name was Nagisa. 

‘What are the chances? The bluenette I saw on my birthday is in my class AND their name is Nagisa? What if that's them? How can I find out if that is them? I should invite them to study after school. I can't ask them in front of the whole cl-’

“Karma, can you hear me?” the teacher asked. 

“What?” Karma responded.

“We’re saying a few facts about ourselves now. You’re up first,” the teacher said.

“Okay Mr. - wait, what are we supposed to call you anyways?”

“The class decided on Korosensensei while you were zoned out. Try to pay a little more attention next time. Now go on and say a few facts about yourself.”

“Yes sir. My name is Karma Akabane, I like listening to music, and I have one older sister named Akari who is 20.”

“That's pretty cool Karma! What about you, Kaede?”

Karma went back to zoning out while he waited for Nagisa’s turn. A few minutes later, Karma heard Nagisa start speaking. 

“Hi, My name is Nagisa Shiota, and. . . there's not really anything special that I can think of about me.”

“How about if the class asks you a question or two then?” Korosensei suggested.

Karma began to ask a question but he was interrupted by Terasaka yelling, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“I’m a boy”

Karma spoke up this time, not letting anyone interrupt him, “Why do you go by Nagisa?”

“Um . . well. .”

“If you're uncomfortable you don't have to answer” 

“No, It’s fine. I didn't really like my name so I chose a new one. I chose Nagisa because I really like the ocean.”

“That's a pretty cool reason! Rinka, you’re up!” Korosensei interjected.  
*************************************************************************************************************  
“Okay class, it’s time for lunch. I’ll be off to get some Mapo Tofu. You have 45 minutes to eat before gym,” addressed Korosensei.

Karma immediately scooted his chair over to Nagisa’s table putting forward his hand, “Hello, I’m Karma.”

“Hi, I’m Nagisa.”

“So, do you want to come over to my house to study this afternoon?”

“Probably but I'll have to check with my mom first so she doesn’t get upset. What will we be studying anyways? I mean, it is only the first day of school.”

“Well we could study,” Shit shit shit this was a bad plan Karma thought to himself “MATH - right math. People have trouble with that right?”

Nagisa giggled, holding his hand over his mouth, “Sure, we’ll study math.”

*************************************************************************************************************

After school Nagisa was the first one to approach Karma outside the school building. 

“Hey! My mom said I could go over to your house to study.”

“Let’s go then - It's a little bit of a walk from here. And if you don't want to walk, I can call my sister to pick us up instead.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to walking to and from school.”

As Karma and Nagisa continued on their way to Karma’s house, Karma cautiously eyed Nagisa’s thighs. 

How would he ask Nagisa about it? Maybe he could convince Nagisa to wear shorts? Or maybe he would just blatantly ask him. Casually bringing up the topic of soulmates could work. . Or he could ‘accidentally’ get a papercut -

“You zone out a lot don't you?” Nagisa stated.

“Yeah. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?”

“I’m not trying to avoid your question, but we’re here.”

Karma walked in the front door, Nagisa following just behind him, and yelled, “Sis, I’m home! I brought a friend!”

There was no response so Karma peeked his head out the front door to see that Akari’s car wasn’t in the driveway. 

“My sister’s not home right now but she should be home by 5 at the latest” Karma informed Nagisa.

“So, are you gonna answer my question?” Nagisa prodded.

“Well, I think about trying to find my soulmate a lot. Come on, my room’s this way” Karma said, leading them down the short hallway.

“Soulmates huh? I didn't think you were the type to think about stuff like that a lot.”

“Looks can be deceiving. And it's pretty hard not to be in my situation.”

“So they get hurt a lot or something? Do you have any clues? Maybe I could help you find them.” Nagisa proposed as he sat down on the floor of Karma’s bedroom, grabbing some papers out of his bag.

“That’s one way to put it,” Karma muttered under his breath. 

“What did you say? You’re being awfully quiet.”

“I have one clue: Nagisa.”

“Yeah? What's the clue?”

“Nagisa. Nagisa is the clue.”

Nagisa froze, his papers falling to the floor as his hands went limp. His heart rate was rapidly increasing. Karma knew. It was as if his heart was being pulled upwards towards his throat slowly suffocating him. In his chest there was just a large gaping hole where his heart had been ripped from and it had been replaced by bricks while his head had been filled with helium. He reached out, trying to find a surface to steady himself, and his trembling arm was met by another hand. Whose hand was that? 

“It’s okay. I’m right here”

Oh right it was Karma’s. 

“Try to breathe with me”

Nagisa gave a tiny nod

“In. . . and out . . . and in . . . and out . . . and in . . .”

Karma sat with Nagisa, rubbing his back in circles repeating in’s and out’s until Nagisa’s breathing stabilized.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be right here with you,” Karma consoled.

“Are you. . upset?” Nagisa sniffled, just now noticing that his cheeks were wet from tears.

“No no no of course not.”

“Not even about the. . . wounds?”

“Not even about the wounds. I’m plenty worried for you, but I could never be upset or mad at you when you’re clearly going through hard times and suffering.”

“Thank you, Karma,” Nagisa sat in silence before speaking backup, “So I guess this makes us soulmates.”

“Yeah,” Karma responded with a warm smile, “It does.”

“So what now?”

“If you’re comfortable with it, can I check on your wounds? I don't mean anything bad by this, but I kinda get the feeling that you haven't been taking care of them as much as I did to mine.”

After a moment of silence Nagisa let out a hesitant, “Okay.” Nagisa began to stand up but he still hadn’t completely recovered from hyperventilating and his limbs were still very weak. Karma scooted Nagisa off his lap and stood up to help Nagisa get up and walk to the bathroom. 

“Hey, do you want to sit in the bath or on the counter?” Karma asked.

“The counter I guess.”

Karma lifted Nagisa onto the counter where the first aid kit was already out from when Karma had to use it to bandage his copies of Nagisa’s wounds. We’re going to need more gauze soon, Karma thought to himself. He pulled out gauze, disinfectant, neosporin and a washcloth. 

“I know it’s gonna be uncomfortable but you’re gonna have to take your pants off. You can leave your underwear on though - well just pull them up for the ones that are on your upper legs. Do you want me to grab you a blanket so that you won’t have to be exposed?”

“Hey Karma, I have something to tell you. .”

“Yeah what is it? If it's about the wounds I’ve technically already seen them - there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“No it’s,” Nagisa took a deep breath, Just say it. Rip it off like a bandaid, “I’m trans.”

“Oh!”

“Are you going to leave?”

“Of course not. So what are your pronouns? Also, is there a reason you brought this up now?”

Nagisa let out a sigh of relief, “He/him. Well, I'm about to take off my pants and I only have Girl’s underwear and it would've been more awkward to explain then.” 

“That's cool. I’m glad I wasn't misgendering you. Sounds like we need to go shopping then. If you want to of course,” Karma said as he climbed up on the counter and sat next to Nagisa.

“I’d really like that,” Nagisa said leaning his head over onto Karma’s shoulder. Karma slid his hand behind Nagisa and pulled Nagisa closer to him. 

“Can we just stay like this for a second?” Nagisa asked.

“Sure. You tell me whenever you’re ready.”

The two boys sat together, absorbing each other's warmth, listening to the other’s breath for a few minutes until Nagisa spoke up, “I think I’m ready. Do you think you could grab that blanket?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back in just a second.” By the time Karma came back with a blanket and some extra clothing in his arms Nagisa was already undressed sitting awkwardly on the counter trying his best to cover himself up.

“Hey, if it might make you feel a little less awkward you can wear these,” Karma said, throwing a pair of boxers at Nagisa. “They're new if you were wondering.”

“Thank you,” Nagisa said, getting off the counter to change while Karma faced the opposite wall. 

“I’m done changing.” Karma got back up on the counter with Nagisa, each of them on opposite sides of the sink. Karma turned on the water so that it could warm up some. He saw that Nagisa’s thighs had paper towels on them, attached with painters tape. 

Karma checked with Nagisa again, making sure he was ready before peeling the tape off of Nagisa’s legs and gently removing the paper towels. The wounds had definitely not been cleaned - they were covered in dried blood. He grabbed the washcloth and ran it under the lukewarm water and began cleaning the wounds across Nagisa’s legs.   
“This is gonna sting a little,” Karma said, grabbing the disinfectant and pouring it on a cloth pad. Nagisa nodded. Karma began wiping it over the wounds but then saw Nagisa clenching his jaw. Karma held out his other hand and Nagisa took it before Karma went back to disinfecting the wounds.   
“Okay, that's over. Now we just have to put neosporin on them and bandage them up,” Karma said letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Karma quickly but carefully smeared neosporin on Nagisa’s legs and wrapped them in gauze. 

Nagisa spoke up, “We . . .” 

“Go on.”

“We still have a few on my torso. .”

“I know. I just . . know that it will probably be really uncomfortable for you since you’re. .”

“Yeah, that's why I nearly didn't bring it up, but there's no point in cleaning the rest of them when I could still get an infection from these. Besides, they don't go that high up: I won’t even have to take my shirt up.”

“Okay. If there's anything I could do to make it more comfortable for you, let me know.”

Karma repeated the same process for the wounds on Nagisa’s stomach. He noticed some strange bandages over Nagisa’s chest but didn't say anything. It was probably just to make his chest look flatter. I’ll have to do some more research on stuff like that tonight.

“Here, put these on” Karma said handing Nagisa one of his hoodies and some baggy shorts, “They’ll probably be a little big but there’s a drawstring. I’m gonna call my sister real quick.”

Karma began to leave the room but then Nagisa spoke up, “Karma-”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Of course,” Karma responded walking over to Nagisa and pulling him into a hug. Just as he began to let go, Karma leaned down and gave Nagisa a quick kiss on his forehead. Nagisa’s face turned bright pink as Karma left the room to call his sister.

*************************************************************************************************************

“Hey sis” Karma said as Akari picked up her phone.

“What’s up?”

“Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah it’ll be about 5 minutes til I get home, why?

“Could you grab two bottles of disinfectant, two tubes of neosporin and two packages of rolls of gauze on your way?”

“Karma, what-”

“And a package of gummy bears and the smallest size of men's boxer briefs you can find? Or extra large boys boxer briefs?”

“KARMA. Yes I will, but tell me what happened.”

“Thank you. I’ll explain when you get home,” Karma said hanging up on her before she could respond.

In the other room Nagisa jumped at the sound of Karma knocking on the door then saying, “Are you done changing?”

“Yeah.”

“You look pretty good in my hoodie,” Karma said, making Nagisa blush.

“Did your sister pick up?”

“Yeah, she’ll probably be home in 15 or so minutes. We should probably do our homework while we wait for her to get home.”

“Okay,” Nagisa began pulling papers out of his bag, sitting back down on the bedroom floor, “So, what’s your sister like?”

“She’s really nice. She’s taken care of me since I was pretty little because my parents were nearly always on business trips.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad she was there for you.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Karma said, settling on the floor next to Nagisa pulling out his homework.

“No, it’s just me and my mom.”

“What’s she like then?”

“She’s not always the friendliest,” Nagisa responded, his voice getting even more hesitant with every word.

“What do you mean by that? If you’re comfortable answering of course. If you’re not, I won’t pressure it.”

“How about we talk about it after we do our homework?”

“That works for me. I’m glad we don't have much homework cause it’s already 5 pm.”

Nagisa nodded and the two continued to help each other complete their homework, even though it was mostly Karma helping Nagisa. 

Soon they were interrupted by a voice from the front of the house, “Karma, I’m home now you better explain to me what the hell happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will be out super soon. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the trigger warnings first please!
> 
> If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm, please talk to a trusted adult or call the suicide prevention hotline.  
> If anyone needs to talk, you can dm me on Pinterest (Ik it's dumb but I'm not going to submit myself to getting in trouble from having social media that I cant hide easily from my parents)  
> my username is GenderqueerPenguin and my profile pic is a rainbow yin and yang
> 
> update: I got snapchat. Idk how to use it but if anyone needs to talk I'm Apollo Bryant/ @apollo_db
> 
> spotify:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2KRD4yUbQi2muzUiAVf2jM

Chapter 5

Soon they were interrupted by a voice from the front of the house, “Karma, I’m home now you better explain to me what the hell happened.”

“Sounds like Akari’s home. Are you ready?” Karma asked Nagisa.

“Yeah.” 

Karma stood up reaching his hands out to help Nagisa up and they walked together to the front of the house where Akari was standing waiting for Karma to come explain himself.

“Welcome home, Akari. This is Nagisa,” Karma said, gesturing to the bluenette next to him, “He’s my soulmate.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nagisa said, holding out a hand towards Akari.

Akari dropped the bag and pulled Nagisa into a hug, saying, “I’m so glad you guys found each other.”

“Does she know?” Nagisa mouthed to Karma. 

“She knows some but not all,” Karma mouthed back.

“Come on, I’ll make some dinner. Do you guys have any homework?”

“We already finished it because there wasn’t much today,” Nagisa spoke up.

“That’s good” Akari responded, “Does Katsudon work for everyone?”

“Nagisa?” Karma asked, not wanting to pressure Nagisa into saying the same as Karma.

“It works for me if it works for Karma.”

“Sounds like we’re having Katsudon. Karma, could you start the rice?” Akari asked.

Karma started cooking the rice and Nagisa stood awkwardly at his side. 

“Karma, you still haven't explained the random stuff you wanted me to get from the store on my way home.”

“Well, I thought it would be a good idea to send Nagisa home with some gauze and stuff to care for his wounds and I’m nearly out here so it would be smart to have extra over here. And I wanted gummy bears.”

“That's a relief. I was worried that something bad had happened and you were severely injured. And the underwear? What's with that?”

Nagisa felt his ears heating up rapidly.

“Nagisa just needed some new underwear - um Nagisa’s had uh blood on them.”

“Oh, okay. They’re in the bag by the front door then.”

“I’m gonna go put up the medical stuff,” Karma said.

Nagisa began to follow him but he was interrupted by Akari saying, “Nagisa, do you want to talk some in here? I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you a lot from now on.”

“Okay,” Nagisa responded.

Akari went to sit pulling 2 chairs up next to the counter motioning for Nagisa to sit, “So, how did you guys find each other? On the first day of school nonetheless?”

“Well, from your reaction earlier I’m guessing you already know about the. .”

“The cuts?”

“Yeah. . . Well there's one that says Nagisa, and when Karma heard me say my name was Nagisa at the beginning of class he reached out to me because well. . . I mean. . his leg did say Nagisa. .”

“That’s gonna be an interesting story to tell one day,” Akari said, “About the cuts. .”

Nagisa had not been looking forward to this conversation.

“Are they properly cleaned and bandaged?”

“Yeah. Karma did it for me after school this afternoon.”

“Okay that's good -” Here comes the dreaded question Nagisa thought to himself, “-Do your parents know?”

“Please - you can't tell her,” Nagisa pleaded. His heart rate was increasing again. He felt the air pressure in the room decreasing. No no no not again.

“Can you tell me why I can't tell them - Why I can’t tell her?”

“She’ll be mad. I - I can't deal with her when she’s like that.” Maybe she wouldn't tell. Nagisa was still on edge but his heart rate had stopped increasing so rapidly.

“What does she do when she’s mad?”

“She mostly yells a lot but sometimes she’ll slap me or lock me in my bedroom or . .”

“Or what?”

“So you know how Karma had you get me underwear?”

“Yeah?” Akari didn't like where this was going.

Twice in one day. That's two less times than I’ll have to go through in the future. “ I’m trans. And my mom doesn’t like it. That's why Karma had you get me underwear - my mom wont let me get boy’s underwear. She’ll make me do stuff like wear dresses and makeup for her when she's mad as a form of punishment for me. That’s why she gets mad at me,” Nagisa began to sniffle, “It’s not my fault. I didn’t want to be born this way either. If she knows then she’ll just punish me more which will make me want to do it even more.”

“C’mere. It's gonna be okay, I wont tell her,” Akari said, pulling Nagisa into a hug and stroking his hair.

“Sometimes the most important family is not the one that you’re connected to by blood. You’re mom may not be there for you, but I can promise that Karma and I will be,” Akari reassured Nagisa.

“Yeah we will,” Karma added.

“How long have you been standing there?” Akari asked, turning towards Karma.

“Since Nagisa told you he was trans. You two seemed like you were having a bonding moment and I didn't want to interrupt.”

Karma walked over to Nagisa, standing behind him with his arms wrapped around his shoulders/ neck. 

“I’m gonna finish making dinner. Nagisa, what if you tried to see if you could spend the night over here, if you think that it’s safe for you to do so of course?”

“Okay, I’ll check. It should be fine as long as I lie and say I’m spending the night at a girl’s house.”

“If you need me to, I can try and pretend to be the friend,” Akari said.

“Thank you.”

While Nagisa called his mom, Karma started doing some research. He found out that afab/amab meant assigned female at birth/ assigned male at birth, and that Nagisa most likely identified as trans male considering he said he was a boy. Karma also learned about gender dysphoria and that there can be two types - physical, and social. I wonder what I could do to help with Nagisa’s dysphoria. Karma looked at some posts made by other trans people to see what they did to help with their dysphoria, and see what he could do to help Nagisa. 

'So, people can wear binders to hide their chests but binders can be expensive and inaccessible to some people so they use alternative methods that can be dangerous like ace bandages. Was that what I saw on Nagisa’s chest? I should probably get him a proper binder instead. He’s also gonna need some large hoodies cause he can't bind all the time. I'm pretty sure they're called ‘dysphoria hoodies’ or something like that. Nagisa might want to get a haircut too but his mom probably won't allow it. We need to figure out a way to get him out of that house without him going into the foster care system. That could be just as bad and he wouldn't be able to check on Nagisa to see how he was doing then.'

Nagisa walked into the room announcing, “Hey Karma, I can spend the night over here!”

“That’s great! So I did some research while you were calling your mom.”

“Yeah, what about?” Nagisa asked, curling up next to Karma on the sofa.

“Well I kinda fell down a rabbit-hole of stuff, but that made me wonder,” Karma said, turning so that he and Nagisa were directly across from each other, “are you binding with ace bandages?”

Nagisa leaned forward letting his forehead fall onto Karma’s chest, trying to avoid eye contact, “Yeah.”

“Well, we should probably get you a real binder instead then,” Karma said, lifting Nagisa’s face back up to meet him in the eyes.

“Thank you.”

“But for now, you can't keep wearing Ace bandages: they could break your ribs and or damage your lungs.”

Nagisa was about to protest when Karma continued speaking, “We’ll order you a binder tonight but in the meantime I’ll Get you a baggier hoodie and tee shirt and a tight fitted shirt to go underneath so that you are as comfortable as you can be without . . putting yourself in danger.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course”

As soon as Nagisa was done changing, Akari yelled, “Dinner’s ready!”

Karma and Nagisa walked over to the table and said, “Thank you for the food,” in unison. Everyone was so enveloped in the food that no one spoke for the first few minutes. 

Eventually Nagisa spoke up, “This is really good!”

“I’m glad! If you want seconds, they're on the counter next to the stove.”

Once the three finished eating Akari stood up and said, “I can clean up - you two could go watch a movie or something if you want.”

Karma thanked Akari before turning to Nagisa and asking, “What do you want to do?”

“Um we could watch a movie? And talk? We did kinda skip all of the introductory stuff that people usually start with.”

“Works for me. What movie?”

“A silent voice?”

“Oh so you want to see Me cry now?’

“No that's not-”

“I was joking - come on,” Nagisa said, tugging on Nagisa’s hand. He gestured for Nagisa to sit down on his bed before saying, “I’ll be right back.”

When Karma came back, he was carrying a pile of blankets and pillows. Nagisa stood up helping him make a spot for them to sit. Karma sat down, taking up as much space as possible, expecting Nagisa to say something. Instead, Nagisa just sat between Karma’s legs. Karma grabbed the remote starting the movie then pulled the blankets around him and Nagisa, and pulled Nagisa against his chest.

“Hey, could you pass me my phone?” Karma asked. Nagisa handed Karma his phone and Karma held it up taking a picture of them together, then holding the phone in front of Nagisa so that they both could see, he opened a website: Gc2b. 

“What colors do you want?” Karma asked.

“I was planning on getting a grey one when I was able to get one myself.”

“What size?”

“Small” 

“Okay. Choose another color.”

“Are you sure? I won’t be able to pay you back and they're pretty expensive-”

“We’re soulmates for fucks sake I’m gonna buy stuff for you and you don't need to pay me back. What color?”

“Skin-tone?”

“Okay so we’ll go with a half length grey small and a full length skin tone medium so that you don't die when you exercise.”

“Won’t a full length be hotter?”

“I can switch it if you want me to - I was just thinking that the half length will be practically impossible to get off if you’re sweaty.”

“We don’t need to switch them. Thank you.” Nagisa said as Karma completed the order. 

“Now what to do about clothes. . . I’m assuming you don't have many masculine clothes at your house?”

“No not any - the clothes I wore to school today were my only outfit, and I had to buy them myself without my mom finding out.”

“We’re gonna go shopping tomorrow. And stop worrying about the cost: my parents try making up for never being in my life with money so I have more than enough. Until then, You can borrow my clothes. I have some old jeans in my dresser that should fit you and you can choose whatever shirt or hoodie you want.”

“Thank you for everything you've been doing for me.”

“Uhuh. So, what are some of your interests?”

“I really like music.”

“Me too! What kind of music?”

“A bunch of random stuff. You?

“Same here.”

“What if we took turns shuffling our liked songs?” Nagisa suggested.

“Sounds fun. You can go first.”

They went back and forth, shuffling their songs:

Nagisa - Knives and Pens by Black Veil Brides  
Karma- Bukowski by Modest Mouse  
Nagisa - Achiles Come Down by   
Karma- The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance  
Nagisa - Cecily Smith (Bonus Track) by Will Connolly  
Karma- The Suburbs by Arcade Fire  
Nagisa - Sweet Tooth by Cavetown  
Karma- 1979 by The Smashing Pumpkins  
Nagisa - Not Enough by SadBoyPacific  
Karma- Come As You Are by Nirvana  
Nagisa - Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex  
Karma- Jubilee Line by Wilbur Soot  
Nagisa - Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery  
Karma- Mistaken for Strangers by The National  
Nagisa - Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John  
Karma- Verbatim by Mother Mother  
Nagisa - 3 Rounds and a Sound by Blind Pilot  
Karma- Sound of Fear by Eels  
Nagisa - I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie  
Karma- Do You Realize? By The Flaming Lips  
Nagisa - Creve Coeur 1 by Hobo Johnson  
Karma- Take Me to Church by Hoizer

Until they realized that the movie was over and they’d forgotten to pay any attention. They looked at the clock seeing that it was already 11 pm, so they decided to go ahead and go to bed. 

“You can have the bed - I’ll sleep on the floor,” Karma told Nagisa.

“Are you sure? I’m fine with sleeping on the floor - it’s your house-”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor. I’m gonna go grab myself another blanket.”

By the time that Karma came back, Nagisa was already asleep on the bed. Karma smiled at him, gently brushing the hair out of Nagisa’s face. Soon, Karma fell asleep to the sounds of Nagisa’s steady breathing.

Karma was suddenly awoken by a strange sound. He looked over to see Nagisa on the verge of tears and breathing quickly.”

He spoke up in a low voice, “Nagisa, are you okay?”

Then louder, “Nagisa?”

And then he got up and shook Nagisa’s shoulder, “Nagisa, wake up.”

Nagisa sat up suddenly, moving away from Karma’s hand and trying to figure out what was going on.

“Nagisa, you were having a bad dream so I woke you up,” Karma reached up to comfort Nagisa, but his hand was just met by a flinch.

“It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” Karma said, “Can I come up and sit next to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it?”

“Distracted. I think.”

Karma pulled his phone out of his pocket handing an earbud to Nagisa and putting the other in his own ear before playing Lovesong by The Cure. Karma wrapped his arm around Nagisa, petting his hair with one hand and holding Nagisa’s hand with the other. Karma began to hum along to the music. When Karma saw that Nagisa was calmer he asked, “Do you want to go back to bed?”

“Sure.” Karma began getting up to lay back down on the floor, but Nagisa grabbed Karma’s arm, stopping him.

“Stay. Please.” Karma nodded, laying down next to Nagisa, noses almost touching. Karma ran his hand down Nagisa’s spine, opening his eyes every few minutes to see Nagisa’s face and make sure Nagisa was still sleeping soundly, until Karma too fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> Katsudon Recipe in the comments cause I cant figure out how to like, embed a pdf into here.  
> I'm like always really bad or really good with technology - I can code new npc's into videogames but I cant put a recipe at the end of the chapter lmao.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for stuff in summary as usual  
> If anyone needs to talk, you can message me (Through here, apollo_db on snapchat, or GenderqueerPenguin with rainbow yin-yang pfp on pinterest)
> 
> Spotify playlist here: //open.spotify.com/playlist/2KRD4yUbQi2muzUiAVf2jM
> 
> Sorry about the last update! I accidentally uploaded the same chapter twice instead of uploading a new one and I didn't notice until now!

“Come on Nagisa, It's already 7, you need to get up or we’re gonna be late for school,” Karma said, shaking Nagisa’s arm.

Karma continued, “We need to find clothes that’ll fit you, eat breakfast and there’s some stuff I want to talk about before school.”

Nagisa groggily got out of bed. Karma threw some jeans at Nagisa that he had found in the back of his dresser.

“Thanks,” Nagisa said, still getting a grip on his bearings. He tried on the pants and Karma noticed that they were still pretty baggy, so Karma handed him a belt. 

“Come on, let's get some food,” Karma said, grabbing Nagisa’s hand and pulling him along to the kitchen. Karma grabbed some leftover food from the fridge and tossed it in the microwave. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Nagisa questioned.

“Well there's a few things. For one, we are taking you shopping for some clothes that fit you as soon as we can.”

“And the other things?”

“And well. . . since we found each other we’re no longer connected by our wounds so . . I won’t know when you,” Karma made a purposeful glance at Nagisa’s thighs, unsure what to say, '' I won't be able to know anymore unless I see or you tell me.” Karma looked up, meeting his eyes with Nagisa’s eyes, “I want to be able to know when you’re hurting. I know I can't make the pain go away, but I want to be there with you to help you through it.”

“So. . . you'll probably want to check that I haven’t harmed myself occasionally then? Is there anything else?”

“Yeah. . I just don’t want you to be hiding something that serious from me. But also, if you do relapse, please tell me as soon as possible just so I can take care of you. There’s nothing else for right now.”

Akari walked into the kitchen, “You two better hurry so you’re not late to school.”

Akari walked over to Nagisa, “It was really nice to meet you Nagisa. If you ever need anything you can always call me,” Akari said, pulling Nagisa into a hug. 

Nagisa and Karma grabbed their bags and food out of the microwave then rushed out the door. Karma and Nagisa walked to their Class 3E building while eating leftovers for breakfast. 

When they walked into the classroom Kaede said, “what's up with you two? I didn't know you guys were such close friends.”

“Oh yeah, we kinda became friends fast I guess,” Nagisa responded.

“What are you two? Soulmates? You’re even holding hands!” Terasaka yelled.

Nagisa glanced at Karma as if to tell him that it was up to him what to say.

“Yeah, what about it?” Karma said. 

“Eww you two are fags? Stay away from me,” Terasaka replied with a chuckle. 

Karma gripped Nagisa’s hand tighter, told him to pay no attention to what people like Terasaka say about them, and walked over to their desks to sit down.

“Congratulations on finding each other!” Kaede said running over to their desks, “So how’d you find each other?”

Nagisa started to panic but then Karma spoke up, “Oh we were just hanging out for fun but then I saw that he had a scar on his thumb exactly like a scar I have on my thumb so I mentioned it and then we figured out that every single scar we have from when we were around the age of getting your soulmate bonds and older was the same on both of us. Have you found your soulmate yet?” Karma asked, changing the subject.

“No, but they don’t get hurt often or anything so I’m just focusing on school for now.”

“Yeah that makes sense. I think class is about to start,” Karma said as Korosensei walked into the room. 

“Good morning class!,” Korosensei said, beginning to write a question on the board, “Answer this question on the back of your homework sheets then set them on my desk to turn them in.”

**************************************************************************************************

“Hey Nagi, are you ready to go?” Karma said standing next to Nagisa’s desk after school. 

“Wait go where?”

“We’re getting you some new clothes.”

The two boys walked down the road to a nearby shopping center and entered the first store.

“Start looking around. I’m gonna look for some stuff for you too. And don't worry about the prices,” Karma said.

“Okay!”

After some time of looking around, Karma and Nagisa met up by the changing rooms.

“I found these pants and these shirts here for you to try on,” said Karma.

“Okay, I found this stuff here,” Nagisa said, gesturing to the clothing in his arms.

Nagisa went into the changing rooms to try on the clothes, coming out after each item of clothing to show Karma.

After a handful of outfits, Karma spoke up about one of his concerns, “Hey Nagisa?”

“Yeah?”

“Well that shirt looks great on you . . but . . . . are you binding with ace bandages still?”

“. . . you noticed. .”

“Yeah. I did. I won't make you take them off til we’re done trying on clothing but you really need to stop doing that. And we need to make sure you have clothes that fit well when you’re not binding too cause you can’t bind seven days a week.”

“Okay. . I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

They went through the rest of the outfits and checked out before moving onto the next store.

“This place has more casual stuff so let's get you some t-shirts, hoodies and lounge pants and shorts,” Karma said as they walked into the store.

“That’s a lot. Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course it’s okay, come on.”

After trying on clothes they ended up getting lots of baggier clothes for when Nagisa couldn’t wear a binder and for general loungewear. 

“You’ll probably have to go back home soon, but we should stop by my house real quick first,” karma said.

“Okay, what for?”

“Your bandages need to be changed daily so we should do that, and the wound care stuff my sister got for you is still at my house so I want to send you home with that.”

They walked back to Karma’s house, greeting Akari who was in the living room when they got home and then heading to the bathroom to change Nagisa’s bandages.

As he was changing the bandages Karma said, “Can I walk you home or would that be a bad idea with your mom?”

“I think it would be fine. If we introduce you to her telling her you’re my soulmate she’ll be really pleased cause you’re a boy. But. . .”

“But?”

“But she’s going to be using my deadname and female pronouns the whole time. . .”

“That won’t change a single thing about how I view you: you’ll still be Nagisa to me, but if you aren’t okay with me being there, I won’t.”

“I think I want you to come. We need to go soon so she doesnt start losing her shit.”

Karma laughed, “Okay, I didn't know that you said stuff like that. You should grab the wound treatment stuff and change out of those clothes so your mom doesn’t get mad. I’m gonna go grab an outfit for you for tomorrow and put away the other clothes we got since there's not enough room for you to take all of the clothes home.”

A few minutes later they met at the front door, and Karma handed Nagisa some clothes to hide in the bottom of his bag.

“Bye Akari,” Nagisa yelled, then they walked out of the door together towards Nagisa’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and stay safe!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for stuff in summary as usual  
> If anyone needs to talk, you can message me (Through here, apollo_db on snapchat, or GenderqueerPenguin with rainbow yin-yang pfp on pinterest)
> 
> Spotify playlist here: //open.spotify.com/playlist/2KRD4yUbQi2muzUiAVf2jM
> 
> I accidentally uploaded the same chapter twice and the last chapter was kindof short, so I'm doing a double update (And this chapter is significantly longer.)

“Hey, Do you want to listen to some music?” Karma asked, noticing Nagisa was getting increasingly more tense.

Nagisa just nodded. Karma put on ‘Float on’ by Modest Mouse. 

“You like this song right?” he asked.

Nagisa nodded again, giving Karma a little smile.

When they got to Nagisa’s house, Nagisa opened the door timidly saying, “Mom, I’m home.”

“Who’s that?” Hiromi asked, standing by the door with crossed arms.

‘Where the hell did she come from?’ Karma thought to himself before saying, “Hello Mrs., I’m Karma, N-” Karma nearly said Nagisa’s name but stopped himself, looking towards Nagisa, unsure of what to say.

“He’s my classmate and soulmate,” Nagisa said, quickly picking up Karma’s sentence. 

“Well, it sure is exciting to meet you Karma! You can call me Mrs. Shiota. Let’s talk over some snacks. Ichika, Why didn't you say something about finding your soulmate?”

Karma responded before Nagisa had a chance to say anything, “We didn't find out until just this afternoon actually so we decided to just come tell you in person.”

“That’s sweet of you. Why were you so late though?”

Karma spoke up again, “My house is in between your guys’ house in the school so we stopped there and I introduced them to my family before coming here.”

Hiromi frowned at Karma’s use of the word them but Nagisa was very grateful for his boyfriend’s efforts to make him more comfortable without outing him and grasped Karma’s hand tighter. 

“I need to go to the grocery so we don't have much but there's some Hanami Dango I made recently that we could have.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Karma said.

“So, how did you two find each other?” Hiromi asked.

“Oh well, we have desks next to each other and I saw that . Ichika .” Karma squeezed Nagisa’s hand in apology and Nagisa did the same back as if he was accepting the apology, “Had a scar of their hand identical to a scar that I have on my hand so I asked them about it, and we compared our scars and figured out that they were all identical.”

“Well it’s pretty amazing that my sweet daughter found her soulmate so fast! I didn’t find my soulmate until I was in my 20’s.”

“So what’s your soulmate like?” Karma asked, trying to direct the conversation away from Nagisa.

“Oh he’s a Management Consultant. Work keeps him pretty busy so most of the time it’s just Ichika and I home together.”

Nagisa nodded in agreement, doing his best to show no reaction to his deadname.

“Do you two have any homework this afternoon?” Hiromi asked.

Karma stayed quiet giving Nagisa a chance to speak up if he wanted to.

“We just have some reading and a few foreign language notes today,” Nagisa said.

“When are you planning on getting it done?”

“Well I was thinking that if Karma’s okay with it, we could do it together.” Nagisa said.

“You two should go get that done then so Karma can make it to his house before dark.”

Nagisa and Karma walked to Nagisa’s room hearing Hiromi yell, “Door stays open! I don't want you two getting too handsy in there!”

Both Nagisa’s and Karma’s faces turned bright pink but they also both chuckled cause they knew that Nagisa would most definitely not be comfortable with that anytime soon. 

Once they were in Nagisa’s room Karma said, “I forgot to say something at my house but if you haven't taken that ace bandage off yet you need to go do that right now.”

“But-”

“No but’s,” Karma reached into his bag pulling something out, “Here’s one of my hoodies. It’s gonna be super big on you and if your mom asks questions you can tell the truth and tell her it’s you boyfriend’s.”

Nagisa went and changed coming back to find Karma was waiting for Nagisa to come back to start the homework. They did homework into the evening until it was time for karma to leave. 

Karma said, “Are you going to be okay here tonight? I don't want to leave you here alone.”

“We don't have a choice. I’ll be fine, I mean I made it nearly 16 years here what's another night?”

“Yeah but. . . those 16 years obviously did some damage. .” Karma said quietly so that it couldn't be heard outside of the room, “Just - you can call me. My phone numbers on the top of your foreign language notes. Don't hurt yourself please.”

Nagisa nodded even though he was unsure of how well he could keep that promise. 

“I need to go really soon but. .” Karma said.

“But?”

“I hope it's not too soon to say this, but I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**************************************************************************************************

Karma walked to school the next morning, getting there early so that he and Nagisa would have time to talk before school. 

‘I hope he’s okay,’ Karma thought to himself.

Karma walked into the classroom seeing that Nagisa's bag was in his chair, but the bluenette was nowhere to be seen. Karma started internally panicking and started looking for Nagisa. As he was frantically trying to find his boyfriend, he ran straight into Karasuma.

“Slow down kid. Why are you running?” Karasuma asked.

Karma ignored his question and asked, “Have you seen Nagisa anywhere?”

“I’d check the bathroom. And stop running inside.” Karasuma yelled as Karma was already on his way to check in the restrooms for Nagisa. 

“Nagi are you in here?” he asked as he walked into the boys’ restroom. He heard a very quiet ‘yeah’ coming from the farthest stall. 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“I just need to use the restroom.” Nagisa said, but Karma didn't trust the shakiness in his voice.

“I’m sorry but I honestly don’t believe you. Can you come out of there as soon as you're done?”

“No. . “

“Nagisa. . . .”

The only response was a sniffle.

Karma continues, “Nagisa. . . I need you to let me know what's going on. . “

“You’re gonna be disappointed in me though. .”

“Goddammit Nagisa, just open the door.”

Karma began to leave to go grab a coin to open the door himself but then he heard the creek of a door opening. 

“Nagisa!” he rushed over to the stall and Nagisa collapsed into his arms crying.

“Im - Im sorry - I didnt - I just didn't know what else to do,” Nagisa cried into Karma’s chest.

“Sh Sh - It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here. .” Karma said, holding Nagisa close to him.

Nagisa began to protest, “There’ll be - You’ll get blood on your clothes,” He said.

“Fuck the clothes. You are so much more important to me.” 

Suddenly the two of them froze as they heard the door opening: It was Karasuma.

“Jesus Christ what the hell is going on in here?” he said, shocked by the scene of Karma holding a bloodied Nagisa in his arms.

“Well. . We should probably take him somewhere a bit more sanitary than the bathroom?” Karma said, still gripping onto Nagisa protectively. 

“We should take him to the extra classroom. I can find some medical supplies-”

“N-No,” Nagisa said.

“Do you not want the other students to see?” Karma asked.

Nagisa nodded so Karma said, “Hey Karasuma, could you distract the rest of the students while I take him to the extra classroom and think of an excuse for why we’re gone?”

Karasuma nodded, still in mild shock from the scene. A minute after Karasuma left, Karma carried Nagisa to the extra classroom and Karasuma entered a second later, carrying Nagisa and Karma’s school bags.

“You two are working on an extra credit project together for foreign language, now I need to find some medical supplies-”

Karma interrupted him, “I already have some in my bag.”

“Is this like a frequent occurrence or something?” Karasuma asked.

“I mean we are soulmates . . .” Karma said.

Karasuma’s eyebrows raised realizing what that meant with the wound bonds. 

“Karasuma, go grab a bowl of lukewarm water,” Karma told him.

When Karasuma left the room Karma asked, “What happened? Why didn't you call me?”

“. . . I . . I couldn't put up with her. . she found the outfit and took it . . she was really mad. . . I couldn't call you either cause she takes away my phone at night meaning I could only use the landline but then she would hear me. . . and then when i got to school there were notes about how . . about how I- I’m just a useless fag “

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have left you there. I can promise you, all the stuff that's on those notes isn't true. They don’t know the first thing about you. . .I’m sorry. . I’m so sorry”

“You don't have to keep saying you're sorry. It’s not your fault.”

At that moment, Karasuma walked back into the room with a bowl of water.

“Hey Nagisa, where did you do it this time?” karma asked, unable to tell because the skirt and shirt Nagisa was wearing covered his thighs and arms and there was blood smeared over all of them.

“. . . The usual. . .”

“Anywhere else?”

“And stomach. . .”

“Is that it?”

“And arms. . .”

“Nagi. . . That's so much more than ever before. .”

“Yeah . well it doesn't show up on your skin anymore so. . I kinda went all out. .”

“Just because it doesn't physically hurt me anymore doesn't isn't an excuse for you to hurt yourself even worse. Where should we start?”

Karasuma stood at the door of the room awkwardly holding a bowl of water and cleared his throat, “I should probably be doing something to help right now?”

“Just bring the water over here,” Karma responded, “Nagi, you choose where we start.”

“. . . but”

Karma caught onto what Nagisa was thinking pretty fast, “He’s not comfortable uncovering himself in front of you,” Karma said, turning towards Karasuma.

Karasuma responded, “I’m afraid I’m not able to leave the room for an extended amount of time due to the school’s safety protocols.”

“I’m sorry Nagisa. . . just let me know when you’re ready,” Karma said.

Nagisa nodded and said, “Stomach.”

Karma nodded and grabbed the medical supplies out of his bag, and rolled up the bottom of Nagisa’s shirt. 

Karasuma spoke, “Why don’t you just take the shirt off? Were all men anyways and it’ll be a lot easier-” Karasuma stopped speaking when he saw Karma’s death glare.

“Wait. . .Nagisa’s a girl? That would explain the clothes and the name-” Karasuma said.

“No. NAGISA is a boy,” Karma said, defending Nagisa, “but some parts of his body don't match his brain, so I would really appreciate it if you would stop making this even more uncomfortable than it already is for Nagisa.”

“. . . Sorry, I didn't know. .” Karasuma said. 

Karasuma and Karma continued asking questions as Karma washed the blood off of Nagisa’s stomach revealing the wounds that were previously unseeable.

“As a person in a professional position, I’m gonna need you to answer a few questions for me,” Karasuma said. 

Nagisa nodded and karma told Karasuma, “I’m letting you know now, if they’re too much for him I won’t hesitate to stop you. And you can't contact his parents. We’ll get to that later though.”

Karasuma nodded and asked the first question, “How long has this been going on?”

“Five or so years,” Nagisa mumbled.

“Why?”

“. . . . My mom . . and some bullies I guess but mostly . . her. Hiromi I mean. .”

“What does your mom do?”

“She just doesnt like that I’m a boy.”

“Has she verbally or physically abused you?”

“. . . . Yeah.”

“How?”

Nagisa’s breathing quickened and he didn’t respond so Karma spoke up, “Too much. He told me about some of the verbal abuse and she slaps him a lot to my knowledge. Nagisa, are you okay?” 

Karasuma wrote down a few things on his clipboard and Nagisa began to calm back down, at least as much as he could considering the situation.

“Hold off on the questions until this part is over. Nagisa, we need to disinfect these,” Karma said

Nagisa nodded and Karma poured disinfectant over a cloth and swiped it over Nagisa’s wounds, both of them flinching- Nagisa at the pain, and Karma because he knew how painful it was from personal experience. 

Karasuma continued his questions as Karma put bandages over Nagisa’s torso.

“You mentioned bullies?”

“Well this morning I got some notes on my desk. . “

“Do you know who they were from?”

Nagisa shook his head.

“What did they say?”

“They said that I . . .was useless. . . and a digusting fag. . . and that I’m not supposed to exist. .”

“I’ll try to find out who they were from immediately. If there is a next time please report the notes immediately instead of. .”

“Relapsing in a school bathroom?” Nagisa giggled.

Karma sucked in his breath sharply, “You did this . . . Just now in the bathroom?”

“. . . You didn't know that?”

“No I thought they were from last night after I left because of your mom-”

“Well . . There's some from then too. . .If the blood’s fully dried it’s from last night if it’s from this morning then the blood won’t be completely dried yet. Unless it's the one right there,” Nagisa said pointing to his thigh, “That one’s from last night but it accidentally reopened this morning so the blood’s not dried.”

“Jesus fucking christ Nagisa, they’re deep enough to reopen on accident? We need to figure something out so that you don't have to go back there. When’s your birthday?”

“July 20 - Why is this important right now?”

“Give me a minute. Can I start on the wounds on your thighs?”

Nagisa nodded before Karasuma spoke up, “Yeah, why do we need to know his birthday right now?”

“Give me a second - What year?”

“20xx”

Karma continued gently rubbing the blood off of Nagisa’s legs mumbling to himself, “20xx so you're 6 months younger than me which makes you 15 and a half and the age for it is 15 and a half.”

“What's going on? The age for what?” Nagisa asked.

“Legal emancipation. Could it work?” Karma asked Karasuma.

“We would need evidence as to why it is necessary if his mother doesn't go along willingly but it could work otherwise. If she doesn’t go along willingly we’ll need to file a Declaration of Emancipation. There’s quite a few requirements but I assume he would be living with you which makes some things a bit easier. We can talk about it at lunch.”

Karma finished bandaging up Nagisa’s legs before moving onto his arms. He lifted up Nagisa’s sleeves and froze at the sight of the gashes on Nagisa’s arm. It wasn't the depth of them or the amount of blood that had caused a pit to drop to the bottom of Karma’s stomach, it was just the sheer quantity. Nagisa leaned over, resting his forehead on Karma’s shoulder and trying his best not to cry. 

“I - You. . . why now? Why are there so many more than before? In 5 years you didn't make a single cut on your arms but now. . .”

“Arms are harder to hide. I didn’t want you to have to hide your arms . . . even though it was still harming you. . I tried my best to make it less hard for you so that you could keep it a secret. . . So that they wouldnt reflect on your image.”

Karma began silently crying ang grasped Nagisa, pulling the bluenette closer to him. 

He pulled Nagisa into his lap where they were both facing the same direction and began gently removing the blood with the washcloth. Karasuma nearly let down his constant poker face from the sight of Nagisa’s arms and the knowledge that every single one of the wounds had come from that morning or the previous night. 

Karma continued treating Nagisa’s wounds, rubbing circles on his back with a free hand when the last wounds were being disinfected, and resting his head in the crook of Nagisa’s shoulder the moment that all the wounds were disinfected and wrapped with gauze. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. Well, mostly okay I guess. You’re not in a hospital or dead and that has to count for something.”

“Yeah,” Nagisa said, resting his hands on Karma’s hands which were wrapped around his torso.

“Nagisa. . You need to take that fucking ace bandage off. I can tell.”

“Right. . .I was hoping you wouldn't notice. .”

“The replacement will be here in less than two weeks, but until then you need to not break your ribs.”

“Fine.”

“I love you,’’ Karma said, patting Nagisa’s head.

‘’I love you too.’’

Karasuma spoke up, ‘’You patched up Nagisa’s wounds pretty sufficiently.’’

‘’Yeah, I have a lot of practice I guess.’’ Karma responded.

‘’You two should go back to class but before you do, There's a few things I need to say. Nagisa, I am not going to inform your parents as of right now because I believe that it would be less beneficial and worsen the. . issue, though I will be informing any of your teachers, including the new teacher you guys haven't met yet so that they can keep watch over you and Karma’s sister if she is not already aware. We will discuss options involving emancipation at lunch today. The excuse that I gave for you being gone was that since you got here early I gave you two an opportunity to make an extra credit assignment for the rest of the class that will be handed out this afternoon. You guys don't need to worry about that though it’s already made.”

“Thank you,” both boys said at the same time.

“Who's the new teacher?” Nagisa asked.

“Her name is Irina but from what I last heard, the class has taken a liking to calling her Bitch-Sensei. She will be teaching you foreign language class.”

“Is there anything else?” Karma asked.

“As for your clothes. . They may ask questions about why Nagisa is in a skirt and why both of you guys’ clothing is coated with blood. . . We don't have any extra clothing. I would suggest that you go home for the day but that may not be safe for Nagisa.”

“I have some of Nagisa’s extra clothes in my bag - I was going to give them to him to wear tomorrow since he doesn't have masculine clothes at his house. I can just say that I got in a bad fight on the way to school.”

“Okay, that's settled. I’ll leave so you can change - be in the classroom in the next 5 minutes or so.”

Karasuma exited the room as Karma dug the extra clothing out of the bottom of his bag.

“Hey Nagisa. . . It’s short sleeved. . .you can wear my hoodie but it's covered in blood. Which would you prefer?”

“. . . . I guess. . I’ll take short sleeves. They would probably find out at some point anyways. . and if I wear the hoodie they’ll assume murder. .”

“Are you sure about this? I can let Karasuma know and he may let us stay in this room for today instead? And you can't keep the ace bandages on. . “

“I’m sure. It’ll also explain to them why you look like you just killed someone. . and the shirt is baggy enough.”

“Don’t let what they’ll think of me affect your decision. I just care about you right now.”

“Hand me the t-shirt,” Nagisa said, finalizing the decision. 

Karma handed him the t-shirt and turned away from Nagisa to give him privacy. 

“What did you use?” Karma asked.

“What?”

“You know what I mean. What did you use?” Karma repeated, trying his best to be simultaneously stern and caring.

“A blade.”

“No shit Sherlock,” Karma said, letting out a tiny grim laugh, “Where is it?”

“Why do you need to know, Watson?” Nagisa responded, making both of them giggle a little despite the grim situation.

“You know. I don't feel comfortable leaving you with it.”

Instead of telling Karma where it was hidden, he quietly pulled the blade out of the gum pack and handed it to Karma.

“Where?” Karma continued asking.

“You’re not too dumb. . . trying to figure out where to check in the future. . Gum pack in my pocket if you really have to know,” Nagisa responded, now fully changed into the t-shirt and slacks and standing in front of Karma.

“I need the ace bandage too.”

“I've been wearing it a lot so you probably don’t want it in your bag, but it’s right here if you need confirmation,” Nagisa said, holding open his bag. 

Karma nodded before saying, “I don't really know how to say this but you really can't tell that you’re not wearing a binder. Like, with the t-shirt and all, your chest looks masculine.”

Nagisa laughed, “Thanks for the effort.”

“Sorry for being so awkward about that I wasn't super sure how to phrase that.”

The two boys walked into the class and Karma spoke first, “Sorry we’re late. We finished that assignment. I can give you my copy after class.”

As they sat down, the whole class stared at Karma’s bloodied hoodie and Nagisa's gauze-covered arms. Karma and Nagisa took notes for the rest of class, trying to ignore everyone’s eyes and whispers that were more focused on the two boys than the lesson. 

“What do you think happened?” said one kid.  
“Did they get in a fight?” added another.  
“No. At those bandages. You know what they mean don't you?” a unique voice said.  
“He got in a fight but defended his face with his arms or something?” responded a second voice.  
“No you dunce! He’s probably Emo or something.” The first voice said.  
A third voice chimed in, “You’re all idiots he’s not emo, he’s probably just depressed and taking it out on himself.”  
“What about the bloo-”

“Everyone, quiet!” Korosensei yelled over the whole class, “Pay attention to the lesson and stop talking about your classmates behind their backs!”

The rest of the morning passed in silence other than the occasional, “You okay?” from Karma directed at Nagisa.

Soon it was lunch time and Karasuma pulled up a chair to eat with Karma and Nagisa. Nagisa realized that he hadn't packed a lunch but before he said anything he was handed a bento box by Karma. 

Before Nagisa could say anything Karma said, “Akari packed them for us. It’s onigiri stuffed with leftover katsudon, and there’s probably some miso soup too.”

“Thanks,” Nagisa responded.

The three of them sat at the table and began to eat before Karasuma started to speak, “So we can apply for a Declaration of Emancipation and there are some forms that you will have to fill out here. To be eligible you will have to prove that you have stable living arrangements, are financially stable, are enrolled in school, and are capable of making responsible decisions. I have already called Ms. Akabane, Karma’s older sister, and settled that you would be able to live with her and she says she can take care of proving that they are financially stable enough to cover your expenses. I already have the papers here to prove that you are enrolled in school. I can make a statement about your maturity but you may want a few other people to back that up such as a trusted family member, adult friend, or teacher: someone who has known you longer than I have. The last thing that we will need is to fill out these documents here and a birth certificate to prove your age. Do you know how we may get that?”

“I can have the documents filled out by the end of the day. I know where the birth certificate is but I won't be allowed to get it,” Nagisa responded.

“We can come over to your house and distract your mother while you go get it if that works? I can be telling her something about how your grades are doing well or if that doesn't work I can go alone and say that it is necessary for school registration,” Karasuma suggested.

“I think the second idea is better because I don't want Nagisa staying there alone but going home then leaving again would seem very suspicious.” Karma said.

They finished eating and packed up their lunch boxes before returning to class. Karma and Nagisa kept their desks together to fill out the paperwork required for the Declaration of Emancipation. 

Korosensei began to speak up, “You two need to separate your desks and pay-”

He was interrupted by Karasuma stopping him and quickly explaining the situation under his breath. 

After the simple explanation Korosensei said, “You two, let me know if you have any questions on that paperwork.”

Karasuma shook his head at Korosensei’s obliviousness to the word ‘discreet’. The two boys nodded and continued filling out the paperwork.  
Karma took notes for the both of them while Nagisa filled out as much as he could, asking occasional questions such as Karma’s address for the ‘future residency’ section and what spots he needed to leave blank. At the end of the day, Karma and nagisa gave the completed paperwork to Karasuma and headed on their way to Nagisa’s house in Karasuma’s car. Karma and Nagisa waited in the car considering they were both still covered in remnants of Nagisa’s relapse. 

A half hour later Karasuma emerged from the house holding a folder of papers. 

He stepped into the car and said, “We need to grab a few papers from Ms. Akabane then we can go turn these in as soon as possible. I told Mrs. Shiota that you were planning on staying at a friend's house for a few nights due to a very large upcoming group assignment. You will need to go back and get your stuff sometime soon but don't go unless Akari or I go with you.”

“Thank you, Karasuma,” Nagisa said.

They drove up to Karma’s house and Karasuma began speaking again, “You guys can stay here if you want considering how you two look . . If you go in, we may not be able to get this paperwork turned in tonight.”

Karma and Nagisa agreed to wait in the car but before Karasuma was inside the house Karma yelled, “Grab us two jackets so we dont look like maniacs showing up to turn in the papers.”

Karma was unsure if Karasuma heard him, but when Karasuma came back out of the house just 10 minutes later this time, he was holding two jackets in his arms. 

Soon they were done turning in the papers and were back at Karma’s, and soon to be Nagisa’s, home.

“Are you ready to totally freak out Akari?” Karma asked.

“I guess so. Thank you very much Karasuma, I don’t know where we would be right now without all your help,” Nagisa said before hopping out the car with Nagisa and walking into their home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe and thank you for reading!


	8. sorry

I probably won't post anything this week - I've been in a decently bad place mentally (I just tried to pierce my belly button with a leather sewing needle and drank rubbing alcohol - couldn't say that I would recommend it - it tastes like shit and had one of my worse mental breakdowns) so I should probably take a short break. I'm really sorry!  
Please don't do dumb shit like me - Stay safe and have a good weekend/week to anyone who's seeing this!


	9. sorry again

so Im just going on a full haitus now - im having trouble to find time to write and finish school cause my teacher went crazy and put me on a schedule to finish this semester around april 10th instead of may 27th and my computer's fan broke so its not currently useable so typing is not pleasant and takes forever  
Sorry about this - I should be back by April  
on the plus side, i will have more time to write because my summer break just got a month and a half longer and i literally stay in my house all summer

**Author's Note:**

> Side note: This is going to have a mixture of cultures in it - the food will probably be typically more Japanese because I do know how to cook a decent amount of food with Japanese origins but other stuff such as Christmas will be more western just because that is what I have experience with and I don't want to horribly butcher it by trying to write about something I have absolutely no experience with or knowledge of. There will be some random stuff that's not necessarily western or Japanese just because (Ex:The beginning of the school year is going to be in January instead of April/August/September cause why not)
> 
> Thanks for reading and stay safe!


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